Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Discover my true Identity

Hey guys! Today, I will be posting my short story which is about 1000+ words. Free feel to comment on this story as I will need your guidance. Enjoy!:D



Hey kids, well, I am going to tell a story. Relax; it’s not how I met your mother. However, I’m going to tell you how Dad discovers himself. Alright, sit down tight. Remember Uncle Marshall, Aunt Lily, Aunt Robin and not to forget, Uncle Barney? Yeah, there were my best friends back when we were high schools. They were with me when I discovered about my true self.

Back in 2011, when we were in high school, I used think I am a follower, not a leader. Why did I think of that? Well, great powers sure come with great responsibilities. I used to think that being a leader was tiring and troublesome. A follower has freedom, without any responsibilities and with a leader leading. But just this incident, it totally changed my life. Without that incident, you would not be seeing Dad leading the world best company.

Well, I was kind of a “nerd” in high school. Being bullied, push around was common and let alone humiliation against me. There is this Devil inside me, also wanting to explode but yet without the guts. I got into this badminton club and Jesus gave me the opportunity. As the days pass by, life had been normal for me, but not others, I found out that being able to withstand all these bullies has only on solution. To be a leader and lead them onto the right path. So I trained extra hard during trainings and for the upcoming tournament. It had not been very easy; it can only be described by the sweats and blood I had put in. Till the day when the captain and vice-captain positions were allocated to.

“Will, you are the captain. And, Finn, you shall be the vice-captain. And, that is it for the announcements for today”, announced by our teacher-in-charge. I was shocked, extremely shocked, so shocked that the impact could cause a building to collapse. Why? WHY? I mean, had I not done enough? There were only doubts in mind. Not long later, I began to have thoughts that maybe I was born to be a follower, never a leader, who always get push around and being bullied. Well, during out friends gathering, we discussed it at the teenage “bar”. Pretty cool with sodas.

“Hey, come on man! You are Ted Mosby! You aren’t going to chicken out, are you? Alright enough, just suit up! I have plans that can blow your mind! It is going to be legend… wait for it… wait for it…DARY!” as usual, Barney Stinson.

“Come on Ted, you are stronger than this? Right Lily?” talking to be me though looking at Lily, his sweetheart.

“Yeah, baby, you are so hot right now… Ops sorry, Ted, you can do it!” Lily, also, looking at Marshall.

“Look at me Ted, look at me! Tell me you can do it! Louder!! “As enthusiastic Canadian as ever, Aunt Robin.

“Am I not doing enough?” I murmured. And kids, for the rest of the day, the 4 of them continued talking while I was thinking about it. And for the next few days of training, I had not been focusing and soon, it caught my coach, Sue, attention. She came up to me and had a very long conversation with me. Well, I had forgotten about the details but I remembered that she was quite disappointed. Yet again, we went for our daily gathering during lunch. As usual, the five of us. I told them that my coach came to warn me to stay focused on the training. But guess what? Barney went to flirt with girls, Robin chatting with somebody else, Marshall and Lily “dating”. Well, just left me alone. While having lunch, and I think.. Maybe I really still not doing not enough? Maybe the coach is testing me? Maybe this and that? I was very confused and I was trying to seek a light in this black box. Finally, God as if send an angel into my life to guide me.

During the next of school, a girl named, Stella, your mum, came to me, talking to me as if she knew about my troubles. It seemed that she has been catching up my blog, “Tedmosbyiswawesome.tumblr.com” We went to have a cup of coffee. During the conversations, to be honest kids, I hadn’t been paying attention, she was just too gorgeous. After a long and long chat, I think I actually find her voice do sound like angel. But that was not the point; the point is that what she said. Although I did not really pay attention, but I did remember some parts which played a role as a motivator. Yeah, maybe I am really not doing not enough and seriously, I should show some leadership during the training, encourage my teammates more often, initiate drills and well, many more. So as days passed by, well, I’m sure to see my coach nodding his head.

Okay kids, you have to understand that sometimes in life, when everything is going smoothly, something is always bound to happen. Well, so something happen. A new kid just joined our badminton team well so, and he… rather spoiled. His name is Max, nicknamed, Fatty Max. He always came late for training, slacked during trainings, and many more which I had forgotten. But the main point is, he was the obstacle for me. I knew I had to do something to him. So we, the “usual awesome 5” head to our club, and shared my story. They sure came up with many ideas. Some are worth trying:

“You should give him a heck of a scolding! Show him what you got!” said Robin.

Some were just boring.

“Just bring to a teacher…” Both Marshall and Lily suggested together.

Yet, some were just too crazy.

“Come on, Ted, can you just suit up even once?! You should just punch him in the face like never before. It’s going to be legend…wait for it… wait for it… DARY!” Barney jumped around while he talked.

At the end of the day, I waited for the opportunity. True enough, it came real soon. So this very “special” day, Fatty Max finally did something which gives me the reason to do what I am supposed do. He kept complaining that he was tired and don’t want do this and that.

“Huh… Can I don’t this or not. Very boring leh… Can I just help you all the timing?” complained, max. Then, there is this feeling ran through my body. This anger and power gave me the strength. I walked towards, grabbed his shirt, pushed him back to a wall and screamed at him.

“Who the hell you think you are! You are so fat and do you want to stay so fat for your entire life! Is this who you want to be?! And, I can swear that with this screwed attitude, you will be done for your LIFE!” And, that was it. That is the moment. Guess what, kids? His face was so shocked that he can make a patient die instantly. Yeah, he just stood there, controlling his tears.

And guess what kids, I somehow transformed his life. He was so determined to slim down that he lost about 15kg and became quite buff. Not only that, he became one of my good friends. Furthermore, he became very committed to badminton.

Alright, back to the story. And soon, my coach saw the potential in me. He gave me a chance to prove myself. And, that day was a turning point for me. I did not make my coach to feel that he had made the wrong decision.

Hey kids, there is funny thing about leadership. One can have leadership skills yet may not be a leader. And, a true leader is someone, who you can really rely on and trust him like a soul partner. I believe that everyone has a leader inside us, it’s just that who can discover it…

3 comments:

Kevyn said...

First off, I would like to say this is one of the worst stories I have EVER read in my life and that you totally wasted my time. I found your story filled with grammatical and spelling errors which made it hard to understand. More importantly, it had nothing to do with being Singaporean except for some singlish you used... To add on, there was no rising action, climax or falling action. Also, why should we relax when it is not about "our" mother? Ridiculous... What in the world are you trying to say?? I feel that you tried too hard to make your story humorous but it's not working at all. I think you need to completely re-do your story.

Yoap Rui Hang said...

I agree with Kevyn that your story contains many spelling and grammatical mistakes. Furthermore, this story was presented in a narrative, not a short story, as we are supposed to write. Also, there is much use of Singlish and slang and it is hard to understand. Furthermore, I think that some parts are completely irrelevant to the message you are trying to bring out. I feel that you should work on your grammar and spelling and also on your plot and story.

Zhoufng said...

Hey William, it's a good effort that you tried to link your story with that English comedy. However, I think that you did not put in any Singaporean elements into your short story, and also failed to bring out the plot. What has this story got to do with teen 'clubs', Badminton and all those narration? I could not really understand your story so you could work harder and present a better draft.